The Last Insult

5 Aug

On 7th August, 2015 Amnesty International will have their congress meeting in Dublin, Ireland, my home town.  At this meeting they will take a vote on whether to endorse decriminalising pimping and brothel-keeping. As a survivor of prostitution, I wrote this to remind Amnesty of the harsh realities of the sex trade from a very personal place. You will understand just how personal when you read it.

The Last Insult

In December, 2005, my friend and I were bought and brought to a hotel complex.  We were paid by a group of eight men, to “entertain” them on their Christmas night out. That “entertainment” evolved into mayhem, the result of this held to the gang-rape of me and my friend. The events of that night were to change the way I saw the world forever and they took the life of my friend, a 27yr old woman named Jenny who had a beautiful young son whom she adored.

Jenny was a friendly, bright, kind person and an extremely loyal friend.  And although heroin had controlled her life for some years, she had been making positive steps to get her life back.  She had moved out of Dublin, she had stabilized on methadone and most importantly (and something she was so proud and happy about) was that she had regained visitation rights to her only child.  That night before the men took us to the hotel, her whole face lit up, whenever she spoke about her son.  She had only come down to Dublin to make some money to buy him some special gifts for Christmas. That Christmas would turn out to be her very last.

I have spoken publicly about the rapes that were committed that night on many occasions. I can find no justification for those crimes and; I believe that no one is able to justify such human wickedness.  Amnesty would agree with me I am sure, and would fight alongside me to find justice if I asked.  This is confusing to me and it makes no sense because on the other hand they are prepared to sanction the behavior that led to this crime. They are prepared to endorse the purchase of human beings for sex and they are fully prepared to ignore the conditions which are present in all cases; the conditions under which rape, beatings, torture and murder occur. Those conditions can never be policed and those who are purchased can never be offered any protection as there is no way of knowing if or when it is going to happen. The only right and humane thing to do is to stop these conditions being set up in the first place and that is by banning the purchase of human beings for sex.

But maybe you have to be present. Maybe you have to witness the rape of another with your own eyes, be in the same room, be less than ten foot away from your friend as she is being violently abused and you can do nothing to help her because you are held down. Because your own body is being mauled at and violated by others in a heinous way.  You plead, you beg, you cry, you offer yourself to the few that are attacking her in the hope that her pain will cease.  You watch as her eyes sink into the back of her head, as the last shred of her dignity is removed.  Jenny didn’t die that night, and yet she did, because she spent the next couple of months in a drug haze until she overdosed and died all alone.

 The largest human rights organization in the world, Amnesty International, is about to take a vote on prostitution policy at the very same Dublin hotel complex Jenny and I were taken to and tortured; Citywest.  The proposal they apparently intend to endorse would bestow a life sentence of sexual exploitation and rape to many around the world.

My call is to the Amnesty members who have come to the same conclusion as I have, members who joined an organization to help approve the lives of others, and who would appear to have no voice or they are choosing to remain silent.  Remember, Amnesty does not belong to the elite board members, it belongs to you and its reputation and name is in your hands also.  Martin Luther King stated that history will recall not the actions of our enemy but more the silence of our friends, he was right, because out of the eight men that were present that night in 2005, one of them never laid a hand on either of us and his is the only face I can recall.

Those Amnesty members must stand up and speak out, even if you are the only one standing. You will then be able to leave the Citywest complex; knowing that you took no part in sanctioning the heinous crime which happened there, and you will be able to hold your head high knowing that you actually stood on the side of human dignity and, despite objections, you were prepared to fight for its protection.  Amnesty, a human rights organization, is in danger of committing a grave act of cruelty. They will also be handing out an extremely painful last insult to my friend Jenny.

In Loving Memory of my beautiful friend Jenny xx


17 Responses to “The Last Insult”

  1. Abolissimo August 6, 2015 at 2:42 am #

    Thank you. I share your anger.

    • miade August 7, 2015 at 1:44 pm #

      Now we must turn that anger into something constructive 🙂

  2. karen pastore August 6, 2015 at 6:16 am #

    Decriminalizing inhumanity promotes inhumanity: they talk about female human beings as though we are things like commerce, alcohol or even drugs…but whatever one feels about decriminalizing drug use or the buying of alcohol and the abusing of such things, we need to realize as a first learning that a human rights org should be the last to compare human beings with the buying and abusing of THINGS like drugs or alcohol…We are human beings: when we are abused and bought it is called abusing & buying a human being. We are not commerce, nor objects, nor property, nor produce, nor things. We are people. We are women. We are girls. We are not sub-human.
    Secondly it does not protect us nor does it respect our rights and our humanity to give a green light to those who treat us as sub-humans by literally stating that the very act of sub-humanizing us should not be seen as an inhumanity, nor a crime, nor even a wrong on us…us… actual human beings…not epithets like ‘whore’ & ‘ho’ & ‘hooker’ but human beings like Karen and Susan and woman and girl-child…An answer to rape is not to decriminalize the rapist and their act of raping, the same with domestic abuse, the same with the sexual misogyny and sexual slavery that is the entire industry of rape & abuse on female human beings….
    And no…. intelligent, educated, people of conscience do not claim that doing such things is for the good and protection of the raped and abused. As though the very act of buying us human beings… us…. Karen and Susan and women and girl-children …us human beings…is not any inhumanity, nor a crime nor a wrong…much less the ultimate sub-humanization….Why does this have to be explained to …a HUMAN RIGHTS group??
    This is a barbaric insult. They are not getting about the work of protecting human rights and fighting the good fight in the name of humanity… they are voting on rather or not we are actually human beings & rather or not the demand should be free to treat us as sub-humans…Tell me, who does that ?!!

    • miade August 7, 2015 at 1:46 pm #

      “Decriminalising inhumanity promotes inhumanity” well said Karen!

  3. karen pastore August 6, 2015 at 7:08 am #

    powerful story here bless this woman and her friend & yet punters/johns are accountable for even more than is stated here so well….the entry age for nearly all girls is 11 to 14 and many enter younger: prior to this mass rape and pedophilia on these girls, nearly all were sex abused …this abuse/ rape/ assault/ incest is often a form of pimp and john style sex abuse because the little girls are groomed the same way such as the father figure stating this is your Christmas gift …now where is mine. And the girl child is often passed around to the abusers friends for his profit of some sort. The girls flee this sexual torture inhumanity and are quickly sex slaved for and by johns OR they are put into the industry of rape by the original abuser (something Amnesty would not allow to happen to terrorists if captured no matter how many people they killed without screaming for their rights as human beings)…THAT is looking at fact. This is not generalizing nor non critical thought…it is fact, as mathematical and scientific, as truthful and real as the reality that the earth revolves around the sun not vice versa…and critical thought is actually needed as much as a conscience to realize the facts and not deny them with no-think….just to be a trick lobby sock puppet….to deny the facts about entry age and prior child sex abuse IS TO PROTECT & DEFEND AND BE THE VOICE FOR THE PEDOPHILES/ RAPISTS/ CHILD SEX ABUSERS who are protected by the act of their crimes being lied about FOR THEM by so many who talk JUST LIKE THESE CHILD SEX ABUSERS who say it’s all a lie and deny the entry & child sex abuse/ pedophile facts… thus millions of these men & their crimes are protected by these groups and people who are pro-john. These people all want Amnesty to vote to decriminalize the demand. just as so many groups and people are doing for them, like the woman (huge trick lobby spokesperson that spends 24/7 doing nothing else in life) who said in her blog that buying poor 9 yr old kids in Rio will give them the summer of their loves with great sex and that we who protest that view are just uptight about fun sex: And in league with her the ‘sex-worker’s rights’ group that recently made it clear they believe likewise about johns buying little children. before we get into females fleeing domestic abuse and the effects of latter rapes on a grown woman…right then and there with entry age facts & prior to that, horrific pedophilia facts about these girls which they are blamed for…how can anyone not see the johns/punters as rapists or the equivalant ?? And since they are the actual hands on abusers of our bodies in all this why are they sheltered?…girls have to lick their anus’s but that’s called liberating and girls are called epithets and spat on, hit, wiped, roughed up, and their orifices are deemed objects to be violently and constantly abused…That which culture narrowly accepts as rape, and the killings of the girls is not just the responsiblity of the demand because they cause all this by being the demand…as the buyers, as the johns they ALL are the equivilant of rapists….sex slavers….call it what you want but don’t call it nothing…for that is the biggest lie of all: they are not just responsible for all the hell on us…they commit the hell hands -on to our bodies: we have to do what they say, are humiliated by their very hands and are made to do vile misogynistic things for their bodies as they do the hands on inhumanity on us physically…so how are they not as bad or worse than any rapist? How is their physical action any better than the traditionally accepted definition of rape? If being a john ANY and ALL johns is not as bad as rape we need a word for what they do that is as bad…how are they off the hook unless they rape the traditional way? they are the doers in all this, on top of us, in us, with anything of their bodies and from their bodies in us just like the raping pimps… as they demand we be on our knees or hit, or sadistically tortured or that we swallow, as they call us and think of us and treat us as epithets that serial killers use on us…us….human beings. Punters are the sex slavers in all this as much as any vile pimp and johns are the sex abusers/ rapists/ pedophiles/ child sex abusers/ sex assaulters directly in all this…but they are not as wrong and evil as any rapist…if they don’t rape in the narrow traditional sense of rape?? If we don’t want to call this rape…then we need a worse word than rape to describe what ALL johns/punters do. doing.

  4. sheenaqueen August 6, 2015 at 10:03 am #

    Oh dear God, I can’t even fathom what you went through. I am so so sorry that you were abused in this way. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story – I hope Amnesty truly reconsider. ❤

    • miade August 7, 2015 at 1:51 pm #

      Sincere thanks Sheenaqueen for your kind words & yes let’s hope they rethink this absurd proposal! With kindest regards, Mia 🙂

  5. lorraine August 6, 2015 at 10:46 am #

    Heartbreaking, so well written. I hope you find peace and justice for all victims of abuse

    • miade August 7, 2015 at 2:09 pm #

      Thanks Lorraine, I am finding peace & justice is on her way, Mia x

  6. spin345 August 6, 2015 at 11:34 am #

    Reblogged this on eachone and commented:
    Amnesty will vote in the hotel where I was tortured -Survivor speaks

  7. Aaron August 6, 2015 at 11:44 am #

    Hi Mia, thanks for sharing this, that was very poignantly put. Do you know if there are any protests at all in Dublin tomorrow over this? Or is this counter productive?

    Btw I’ve seen some of your stuff for a while now and you’re a bit of a hero to me, keep up the good work

    • miade August 7, 2015 at 2:25 pm #

      Hi Aaron, no protests that I am aware of & yeah it could be counter productive as they must be aware of the international outcry this absurd proposal has caused, let’s hope they have a rethink!!

      And many thanks for reading my words, I would not have a voice but for people like you helping to get it out there, so you too are my hero Aaron 🙂

  8. Full Stack Web Developer August 6, 2015 at 9:02 pm #

    Amnesty risks losing its good name or making deals with pimps and johns! For shame!

    • miade August 7, 2015 at 2:27 pm #

      They most certainly do & shame on them if they do that!

  9. Fiona November 25, 2015 at 7:55 pm #

    You are an amazing woman Mia x


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    […] From Surviving Prostitution […]

  2. Amnestys nya policy ska bekämpas smart - August 12, 2015

    […] är inget unikt för denna fråga. Ett aktuellt exempel av motröster är Mia de Faoite, som berättar om våldtäkterna hon och en vän utsattes för av en grupp sexköpare – på just det hotellkomplex där Amnestys konferens senare […]

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